So in this new-age world of quasi-relationships, quasi-feelings, quasi-everything, I figured I’d touch on a subject that came to fruition during a conversation on twitter that centered around wanting to go on a “date”. Then it came down to the notion…. what the hell is a “date” these days?
Dictionary.com states a date as the following.
date [deyt]: a social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person.
Physics.This.Sh!t.Aint. defines a date as:
date [deyt]: an agreed outing with two people that both have genuine intentions for which sex is not the primary outcome.
So how do you know when you are involved in a “date”?
The framework of the ‘date’ is usually done at least 3-4 days in advance. Why is this significant? Because this means the person initiating the date actually has thought out the notion of wanting to spend time with you and what they want to do. We allow 48 hours as a one-time pass if in fact the person initiating has something very specific in mind as well. If you get the text at 4:53pm on a Saturday saying “What u doin?”… it is NOT a date. You’re likely just hanging out.
The attire required doesn’t involve lounge wear. If he is wearing jogging pangs, and she is wearing yoga pants… unless you are in a Bikram yoga/spin/aerobics/TaeBo/P9ox class…. you are NOT on a date. Hell, if you thought you were on a date to a gym class anyways…. then I suggest you just go back to your Source and Sister 2 Sister magazines.
There is no suggestion for you to pay at any point. Dutch dates are out there. But we’re talking about knowing exclusively that YOU’RE on a date. If the check comes, and there is no hesitation about the person INITIATING the date picking up the tab, then you’re on a date. If it becomes a reverse tug-of-war with the check being a hot potato… then you’re likely just hanging out.
If there is a suggestion for a second place, then you’re on a date. If the second place is a house, apartment or hotel room… then you’re not on a date. You’re just f**king. If the third place involves sex… then you’re on a GREAT date.
Some form of chivalry is shown. Doors are open. Chairs are pulled. (Sidenote: Ladies, when a man open the car door for you to get in the passenger seat, try and open his door to the best of your ability. Even if you only get to door unlocked status… it goes a long ways for us fellas if we’re feeling you.)
If you are not sold for money during the encounter, then it’s a date. Ok, I just wanted to see if you were paying attention to this one.
If the scenario plays out that you ask the person to call you to let you know they made it home and they actually do… then congrats…. you’ve just been on a date.
So what constitutes a “date” in your mind? Or what definitely lets you know that we’re just cool and hanging out???